My name is Irina. I am 45 years old and live in Belgium. For the first time in my life, I am reaching out to people I do not personally know to ask for help.
This is not easy for me. Since childhood, I have been used to remaining silent about what I have experienced, keeping everything inside and finding my own way through every difficult situation. But now I have to admit honestly: this time, I cannot manage alone.
I am raising funds so that I can temporarily move to a safe place, complete the purchase of a modest apartment, carry out the necessary work and buy the most essential furniture and household appliances.
Why Having a Home of My Own Matters So Much
I grew up in Russia. At a very young age, I was subjected to sexually inappropriate behaviour by an adult. Later, I experienced physical violence from my father and emotional abuse from my mother.
I was a curious child. I did well at school, read a great deal and played the violin. But gradually, I learned a dangerous lesson: you must hide your own pain, keep other people’s secrets and deal with every difficulty alone.
When I was fourteen, I found the strength to defend myself for the first time, and my father stopped hitting me. However, I became distant from my family, neglected my studies and ended up in an unsafe environment. As a teenager, I was raped. After that, trusting people and asking for help became even more difficult.
At sixteen, I met a man with whom I stayed for about nine years. I desperately wanted to build a family and finally find a safe home. I suffered three miscarriages, gave up my studies and devoted more and more of myself to our relationship. But my partner gradually began drinking heavily, and our marriage eventually ended.
Later, life brought me to Belgium. I arrived with my young daughter, who had been born prematurely after only seven months of pregnancy. My new husband accepted her as his own child, and not long afterwards, we had a second daughter together.
Moving meant adapting to a new country, an unfamiliar language and a different culture, without friends or relatives nearby. My husband worked constantly while I remained at home alone with two small children. I became financially dependent on him, gradually lost my self-confidence and fell into depression.
I could not afford professional support, so I searched for free lectures, courses and exercises by myself. Step by step, I managed to overcome my depression.
When I needed an income of my own, I started working as a cleaner, despite having previously held a management position. I developed severe pain in my arm, but I did not want to remain dependent on benefits. I learned Dutch, completed administrative training for non-native speakers and then entered an entirely new sector: logistics. After an unpaid internship, I was offered an employment contract.
Over eight years, I progressed from intern to team leader of eight employees. I have a good job and a company car. Throughout those years, I also raised my daughters and supported their development. One studies at a conservatory and plays the violin. The other has finished secondary school and wants to study orthopedagogy.
I am proud of how far I have come. I have never waited for someone to rescue me.
Why I Need Help Now
After my second divorce, I rented a home for seven years and saved everything I could towards the down payment on an apartment of my own. At the same time, I covered a large proportion of my daughters’ expenses.
Over the past six months, an ongoing dispute concerning the children’s expenses has already cost me approximately €8,000 in legal fees. The case has not yet been resolved, and I do not know how many more legal expenses lie ahead. I am not asking people to fund a court case, but these costs have consumed the money that should have been my financial safety net.
Several years ago, during the COVID-19 pandemic, I had to leave my rented apartment and moved in with my partner. I hoped this would be my final relationship and that we would grow old together. But the trust between us gradually disappeared, and living together became increasingly difficult emotionally. Our relationship is now over, and my partner has asked me to leave his home.
When he is away, I feel calm again. When he returns, the tension and fear of further humiliation return as well. That is why I need to leave as soon as possible.
I have found a modest two-bedroom apartment where my daughters will also be able to stay. The seller has accepted my offer, and my mortgage is currently being arranged. All my savings will go towards the down payment. Afterwards, I will have approximately €500 left in my bank account.
The apartment still needs work, and the only piece of furniture I own is a bed.
My monthly mortgage payment will be approximately €1,400. I work and am determined to repay the mortgage myself. But right now, I need help getting through this transitional period, making the apartment minimally habitable and, if possible, increasing my down payment so that my monthly repayments become more manageable.
How the Funds Will Be Used
My initial fundraising goal is €52,000:
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€12,000 for temporary accommodation for approximately four months while the purchase is completed and the necessary work is carried out;
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€30,000 for moving expenses, limited renovations, essential furniture and necessary household appliances;
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€10,000 as an additional down payment to reduce my monthly mortgage payments.
If the initial target is exceeded, the next €10,000 will also be added to the down payment. The extended fundraising goal is therefore €62,000.
I will provide regular updates about the purchase, my move, the renovation work and how the funds are being spent. If any expenses are lower than expected, the remaining amount will be used entirely to increase the down payment on the apartment.
My Request
I am not asking for luxury. I am asking for the chance to begin a new life in a home no one can ever ask me to leave.
For years, I have tried to manage everything on my own. I raised my children, learned a new language, worked as a cleaner, retrained, built a career and saved every amount I could spare. I have come this far through my own efforts, but I do not have the resources to take this final step alone.
Even a small donation will become part of the foundation of my new home and my independent life.
If you are unable to help financially, you can still make an enormous difference by sharing this page, offering temporary accommodation or helping with the move, renovation, furniture, household appliances or professional advice. Such support would also mean a great deal to me.
It has always been easier for me to help others and carry their stories than to tell my own. Today, for the first time, I am allowing myself to say:
I need help.
Thank you to everyone who has read or shared my story, or chosen to support me. Your help will give me more than walls and a roof. It will give me safety, freedom and a home that will finally be my own.