Parents often fight in divorce court, denying the other parents to stay in there childrens life.

there is only one victim in parents fighting Their children.

in court everybody loses, not all at the same time... but do not take winning for granted... one day your child wants to know everything... they Will hate you for not allawing their Mother or father in their life... so in the end everybody loses.

I lost my two girls, at the time being, 3 and 6 years old. My world fell apart, i broke and cant understand why this happened...

i was 24/24, 7/7 days with them. I took care off them every second and i loved it!

it changes you ... you know... once you Hove boete and become a Mother.

they were everything i ever dreamed of.

my husband wanted a divorce because i was crazy.. he Said...My Mother had to tell me cause i was in the hospital recovering from my 6th operation of stormach issues.

he wanted me to sign his divorce papers, if i ageer he would never take my children. Away... if i would cause trouble... he would take everything Away from me. He has powerfull friend in the justice department so in trial i would not make a change.

i had to pay off his depts, gave me a price for the house to buy him out.

i worked for him 18 hours a day, 7 years, but he never gave me Some money... i had to let that Go too he Said! It was hard work ,i did everything in his bakkery, paperwork, finance, helping customers, Find new clients, Find personel for helping me in the weekend, leading inspections, deliveries at 6 in de Morning. Mostly i asked myself About his wearabouts, cause after 10 am, he was gone and always had an excuse, my days ended at 7 o clock, making dinner in time, household, grosseries, it was never enough. When my 1 child was Born and i had to work again i caried het in a baby Björn and just a sheet. Not even once he would say I did a great job, once my house was a mess, I clean everyday but that day I was so tired, he took Pictiors and showed it to my parents, his parents, even my doctor, he stated that there was something wrong with me... what person would leave a house so messy. My daughter was and his son (from another woman) played the day before and made a mess.. I just did not have time to get to it, cause I came from work at 7, feeding my dogs and let them out, took care of the clothes cleaning, went for groceries and started coocking, when they finished I had to clean it all up and dishwash everything.

my husband said, "do I have to do everything, I am tired and now I am playing with the kids, you are such a bad mother"

you know after a while you get paralysed, you do not live anymore and you even blaim yourself.

but we were by divorce.. after divorce I found out that he lied about everything to me, how he was still paying his ex 900 euro a month, wich he  was not allowed, cause she already was living with another guy, over what he owned, that from the beginning of our marriage, I was never his woman alone, he stole a lot of money from my,, my life savings were gone. He withdrawn them.

I had no rights... didn't know the worst had yet to come. We did co parenting, it was a hell, because he refused to communicate. The children had to do it, he was wreckless, didn't buckle up my children in the car, everybody knew it and I begged, I even filed complaint anonymous. Cause it were my children too. One day my children came from my ex and I saw my 2 year old youngest had bruises on her head. My Alders told that daddy did not want to buckle up my youngest, he said that she had to do it herself. After a while daddy had to stop the car very faSt and abrupter, my youngest flew to the front and bumped her head. My ex did not even go to a dokter for checkup, so I did, nothing serious thank god. I was very mad at him but I could not say anything cause he ignored me in everything. It was hell cause he used my children for a year to hurt me in ways that some would never belief...

I had enough and confronted him and a lot of people saw it and started to applause.

but that is on me, 2 months later he suited me for court.. he filled a question for full custody... and I didn't even had a lawyer but he got custody by the first trial.

than I realized that I would make a change, once I had the DA office talking very positive about my skills as a mother, I had a docter an psychiatrist who stated that I was 100% fine and being a good mother who loves her children more than anything in the world. My ex filled a lot of complaints, but the inspector stated that this was fake and they would not further borrow me with it. He also ip spoofed my mail and telefone from the beginning of our marriage so he knew everything... but I was loyal and never lied so he could not use that, but when I found out one year after divorce I was furieus! 

than the court desired to permit my ex full custody. Reason, I would have send him angry mails... but you see it was not me... he mailed it to himself under my address account.

I was not allowed to see my children for half a year! And I was already on my 4th lawyer, cause my ex his friend is one of the most powerfull persons in belgium, her father of the world. Rumor has it that a lot of people were frogged, but no one dare to even speak her name. Wel I did and another lawyer ran! And I was harassed by controls or police treating me like trash, accusing my of things I had an aliby for. If I didn't "confess" even I had alibies, they out me in jail, twice hit, once admitted to the hospital. That person with a lot of power is also the lawyer of the police department. So by the time my children could not bear it anymore they insisted to give a statement to the police... they refused and my children were immediately taken back to my ex who was very mad and they were punisched for it. Next time I saw them they were terrified and since than the refuse to say anything about there father.

2 years later. After the more than six months I may not see them it was September 2020 and I was allawod to have my children in my home under supervision for 3 hours every 2 weeks.

from this week I may see my children every Wednesday, I may pick them up on school, we have lunch together (for the first time in so many years) suoervision is 3 hourS so they allow me a few hours alone, they may stay till 6.30pm and the judge of juvinail ( I am glad it's not that bitch from family court) said if everything went wel, before Easter vacation they will revalidati and expand the time by sleeping over or 2 days... until it is co paranting again. My ex last time when I got that good news he was furious, but I really do t care... I know he will do everything not allowing to see my children.

this is my story... but in belgium and the Netherlands it is one of a miljoen stories. We parents have no right if we don't have the money for bride or hyring the most expensive lawyer. And also than, if your spouse is highly connected, there is no chance!

my ex took everything from me, I didn't know it was even before the wedding, I came from rich family, he only wanted the money, but I do t get any money, we are learned to earn it, so I payed 4 lawyers, had to pay my ex for child support now, he took my savings, I have to pay all the bills in court. So I can hardly buy food.

never thought this could happen to me, hopefully a miracle happens and I don't end up in the street, than I lose my kid forever!

I want to change our justice department, in belgium you may lie in court. And I want children never to miss one of the parents, I want to give them a voice. And no more lies in court, swear to the Bible or whatever ,  cause if someone catches you cheating, you'll have a big problem, treason

therefor my dream was to open a open house for children of divorced parents, with a few animals, other children they can meer, organizing a lot of things, helping them, because children in divorce need someone to talk to and be sure it will not pass on. Its easier when they see other children do that and easier because we are not related and swore never to tell their relatives.

I hope that I can achieve a lot of it, so I ask you to donate 1 dollar, and I will always be gratefull and a lot of others... not necessary... 

maybe after reading a friction of my story. You will see some things different, appreciate your time with your childreN, gratefull for every little thing... and if you do... that would make me happy!

greetings
tanja mami of Hannah and Ella